Thursday, July 12, 2012

How I Sent the Boy to Camp -or- How to Mortify the Boy

Right, so, my son turned 10, that went fine, and THEN we turn around and leave him at sleep-away camp for a whole entire week.  He was completely ready and willing to go, but me LETTING go has proved to be another story.  I am missing him like crazy, constantly wondering what he's doing and if he's having a great time and looking forward to picking him up Saturday morning.

I took special delight in packing him for camp and thought I'd share.  It should be noted that the boy is NOT IMPRESSED AT ALL, and is in fact probably thoroughly humiliated, but little does he realize that what I have done is COMPLETELY AWESOME and is sure to only make him MORE POPULAR with his fellow campers.  I am so convinced of this that I am CERTAIN I will get some sort of award when I pick him up in two days time.  

There is a small, logical, reasonable part of me that knows that is delusional.  Luckily, it is outvoted by the rest of me and I'm relishing in my daydream of being celebrated.  On we go:

I labeled the bags containing his underwear and socks.  Oh, I labelled them, all right!  I labelled them with mom humor and unnecessary advice.  Picturing the appreciative smile on his face is all the thanks I need.  

The campers were advised to pack all of their belongings in a big plastic bin.  Your average parent would look at that bin and simply see an empty bin.  Luckily, our son does not have AVERAGE PARENTS!!!  No siree!  I only saw an EMPTY CANVAS, and rectified this situation immediately.  I also employed the help of my baby daddy/marital partner and also my daughter who is going through her "monster phase" much like Picasso went through his "blue phase."  

I did clear this with the boy first.  Here's how that conversation went:

Me: I'm going to write your name on the bin, okay?
Boy: Okay

-fast forward to the "big reveal"-

Boy: *long silent stare*
Me: *beaming with pride, giant dopey grin on face*
Boy: I thought you were just going to write my name on it.
Me: I DID!!! SEE????  RIGHT THERE!!!  

You also have to label all of their stuff.  Presumably because they just toss their belongings willy nilly into the woods and into the lake and onto the ground and then stir them all up in one big stinky belongings stew to be sorted out at the end of the week.  I chose to approach this with machine embroidered labels.  On the towels, these labels double as loops with which to neatly hook the towels so they may dry and stay clean and orderly.  Like that's going to happen, not the aforementioned stew business.  

Lastly, just to sweeten the deal, I mailed him stuff.  There's a care package containing cupcakes and party hats and streamers to throw a party with his cabin.  That one I just bought from the camp, that's something they offer and hence is totally kosher and not 
embarrassing, right?

But THEN I also wrote him.  I wrote him this AMAZING letter filled with helpful dos and don'ts.  

I think we can all agree this letter is the MOST AWESOME LETTER EVER!!!  It's really helpful and informative and funny.  He is one lucky kid!  I am really looking forward to that trophy, I know just where I'm going to put it.

It may surprise you to learn the boy has not written to us, despite the pre-addressed and pre-stamped stationary I lovingly included in his kick ass bin-o-belongings.  This despite me pining for him as I sit by the mailbox.  Luckily, his camp has this amazing service where they upload photos from camp each day so you can see what your kid is up to.  I have been checking it several hundred times a day and can report he has done many fun activities except for on Tuesday when he somehow alluded the camera the whole entire day.  I assumed he had been eaten by a bear, and I felt had stayed reasonably calm despite this, but then today I spotted him in the pool and sitting on a bench so all is well.  He was even SMILING in one of them!  I'm going to have to ask how they got him to do that because all I get are disapproving glares and the shaking of the head.  

If you want to send your kid to a really awesome camp, by the way, may I heartily recommend to you Camp Ernst in Burlington, Kentucky.  They have been amazing, I've never heard anything but fantastic things about them, and this really is my kid's dream come true.  You can watch lots of other kids having the times of their young lives at the Camp Ernst YouTube channel, it's also really rad.  

1 comment:

city said...

thanks for share.